Some Memories Just Stick..

 I remember it like it was yesterday. Falling asleep for the first time not worrying of getting woken up with the news. I slept on couch cushions on the floor because we had no power and I was too scared to go down stairs. It was the one night I really thought you would still be there when I woke up. And that was the night Heavenly Father took you in his arms and said its time for you to go home. My fear became a reality, as I got woken up to auntie April and mom saying you are gone. Both checking to make sure the other wasn't crazy. I was praying you out of pain for weeks before this day, but nothing prepared me for it. That day was the longest day. People came, people wept, people cleaned, people fed us, and yet it was like it wasn't real.
  That day was six months ago today. Six months have passed without my dad. As some days are easier than others, it is still hard to fully wrap my head around. Its weird too because it has felt longer than just six months.
  In these past six months the song Drink a Beer by Luke Bryan gets me really thinking about my dad. The first verse says, "When I got the news today, I didn't know what to say, so I just hung up the phone, I took a walk to clear my head, and this is where the walking led, can't believe you are really gone, dont feel like going home." I feel this way, even when I just get reminded or bring it up. No one ever knows what to say, neither do I. I try to tell stories to keep him with me but than I feel that no one knows what to say to even a funny story because he is gone. And than I re-realize that he is gone.
  Another part of the song goes, "Funny how the good ones go, too soon but the good Lord knows, the reasons why I guess.Sometimes the greater plan is kinda hard to understand, right now it don't makes sense, I can't make it all make sense." This is something that really has helped these past months. That I do believe that there is a plan for each and every one of us and for some reason that I do not get and probably wont get for a long time, is that The Lord knows the reasons why. He had and still has a plan for my dad. That I am grateful for.
  My dad would probably smack me since I am comparing my feelings about his death to a country song.But he can't so I will just smile in knowing I know he would do that. No one can ever explain how it is when a parent dies. Everyone acts differently. So its one of those things that you cannot really learn from a classroom or a book, even if the world tries to teach us how to grieve, those people know nothing. I know that its a process that I will probably never get out of. Sometimes life is good and other times I am wishing he is here to answer my problems or to just talk to. Its hard to lose a parent. But I am grateful for the time I had with him, and I know that the time on Earth was not the end, that when I die I will be embraced by him and I will get to have those conversations once again.
  I started out in the world as daddy's little girl.

 And as life continued I just became a bigger daddy's girl

And it does not matter how long you are gone... I will always be your little girl. I miss you daddy! I hope you are proud and are watching over me and the family. Also, I hope you are playing darts like crazy with Kent. Love you Daddy Dork forever and always.