Either way its hard...

  Last week I had to take my dad in for a doctors appointment. As I sat there in the waiting room, a nurse finally comes to me and asks me if I want to go wait with my dad. I say yes. So I go into the room where my dad is and he asks me, "have you accepted it yet?" (for first time readers my dad is dying from cancer and does not have a lot of time left.) I was all, "No" lets be honest no one really fully accepts anything until the end. Its the last stage of the grieving process. Than he goes and asks me, "What is easier having someone just die out of no where or knowing that they are going to die." I looked at him and said, "I don't really know how about you haunt me later in life and I will tell you." Trying to make a joke out of this serious situation and more stuff was said that I actually saw my dad cry for the first time and he saw me cry for the first time over this situation. But his question really got me questioning.
  About two days later, my like 3rd cousins husband of 5 months past away in a boating accident at Lake Powell. As I thought about how what she has to go through and how one second her husband was there and than the next he was gone, I realized I knew what I would rather have. I would rather know it was coming. Does it still suck, yeah you bet it still sucks watching my once strong dad having to know be helped out of bed and helped in the bathroom. But I get to cherish each moment and get to say a little bit of a good-bye.
  Two days ago, it was around four o'clock and I was sitting on the couch next to my dad and it was time for his meds. He has now gotten to the point that he needs help knowing what pills to take when and such. He wakes up and says, "You need to call your mother now to tell her to get her [butt] home because its time." So I call my mom, than ask if he still wants his meds. He than tells me to lean close and kisses me on the cheek and says, "I love you." I than got really scared because he was serious about his time. I get a chair to sit next to him and to hold his hand. I than call the boys in to do the same. Honestly, it was the perfect moment especially when mom got home. And I kept thinking, maybe the movies do not lie about everything because this looks like a scene out of sappy sad romantic type movie. Well my dad not being anything like that he is still fighting to be on this earth for just a little while longer. His time is really close and has gone really down hill but I had and can still have my moments of peace with him. He can call his family and friends and say his good-byes which are hard to hear but he gets to say them.
  Either way it sucks, no matter what. But I have also thought of something else. As long as we cherish all the moments we have with everyone than it does not matter. No regrets will happen, no wishing I could have done this or that. Everyone leaves this Earth when and how Heavenly Father sees fit and what is in his plan.
  Here is a challenge that I have made on my facebook page so now I challenge it to you. Cherish your family. Mend the bonds that have been broken. Go call your family now. Just say I love you to them. Take that time to be with them and not with friends. Enjoy what time you have with them because you may get the chance like me to say your good-byes or they can walk out the door and be gone. Either way you can still have those memories and know that that person knows you love them.
  I know that if I have this last day with my dad or maybe a week that he loves me and I love him and that is all that is needed. :)

Daddy daughter love is like nothing that can be described.

My EFY adventure in a nutshell!

Man so much happened during my 5 week adventure of EFY so bullet points are the way to go:

• Made new friends within minutes and love them!
• We made up more than half of any ward we joined and it was always funny to see the members faces as we all walked in.
• Found out I went to Snow with a couple of my co-workers and I didn't even know it.
• Almighty Servers (1st week): 
• Scared my girls and it was hilarious
• I had two boys how kept saying that I didn't like them than at the end they came up to me and was all I guess you do like us. It was funny I guess if you were there.
• Won banner.
  

• Weekend:
• Ran back to grab a couch before anyone got there.
• Target adventure with Taylor, Andres, and Nicole! Walking in the rain, Five Guys, and the start of a great friendship!
• Buffalo Wild Wings and Man of Steel. Definitely an adventure of getting there! 
  
• Imparting Angels (2nd week):
• Teddy compliments were my favorite!
• 6 out of my 12 girls had to see the health counselor...yeah must be a record!
• Fun mid week trip to Target! We are never ever getting back together, frozen yogurt, and inside jokes!
  
• Travel weekend:
• No one likes to travel all day but make the most of it! 
• Nicole and I laughed the entire bus ride!
• 
  
• But we got to see the OCEAN!! 
  
  Nicole and I on the bus!
  
  Andres and I at the beach!
• F.W.S. (3rd week):
• First set of older kids!
• They got me ice cream or anything when I asked!
• Two boys made my co and I a picnic basket! haha talk about creative!
  
  
  
  
  The Picnic Basket!
• Weekend:
• Beach time!! :)
• Apparently Panda Express is not open on the weekends in the student center. :/
• No naps because Andres, Ross, Caitlin and I like to talk in the lobby!
• Andres and I almost got sprayed by a skunk and saw the one and only skunkoon!
  
  The girls at the beach!
• I am Strong (4th week):
• Won banner and cheer!
• My boys made a song that made my day!
• My kids made up a game called dinglehop! Best game!
  
• Weekend:
• Clouds does not stop us from going to the beach! We got to hold starfish and other cool sea creatures!
• Tried to eat at Panda again...Still closed!
• Beach talks are the best with Andres, Erica, Ross, Caitlin, and Jessica!
  
  Girl talk on the beach!
• Believe and Receive (5th week):
• First trio all summer!
• Won banner and the banner got tossed up to the front! Hilarious!
• I was sick at the beginning of the week and my kids were so concerned and kept asking how I was! Loved it!
  

Best 5 weeks of my summer by far! Honestly this is not even the half of the amazing things that happened! The kids were amazing and they are such amazing examples and helped me in more things than they could ever know! My friends I have made are seriously the best! I do not know how I could have done any of this without every single one of them! The Lord knew exactly who I needed and what I needed in my life! EFY is seriously the best job and I am so blessed to say its my job!

Dr. Pepper!

At the library!

Frozen Yogurt!

Flagstaff 1 [Almighty Servers]

  My first week back at EFY was of course LEGIT! Loved my kids so much! They were crazy but so much fun. It is definitely different here in Arizona. Something about it. I don't know but its cool. So walk in to meet your counselor and already love the girls! I could see how nervous they were but man within minutes they were talking to each other and opening up.
  Tuesday was probably the best. So first off, we had classes. And I went around with my different kids to the different classes. Well then after lunch I started talking to a group of my girls and asked if I could join them to class. They said yeah totally. So we went to a class together and found more of my kids which was great! Also, loved the teachers and classes. So then I lost the group when leaving the class to go to another class. So I decided I decided I would just find a class and hope some of my kids were there. Well I walked out of the building and up the stairs and one of my girls comes up to me and is all, "Amanda we waited for you." Oh man totally made my day. Than I was on free time duty, which is not always the best because sometimes you cannot be with your kids. But some of my kids saw me and came and chatted with me until dinner. Again, made my day.
   So Wednesday night was crazy. Games night, pizza night, and all is just nuts. But after was the best. I was knocking on all my girls doors to tell them they had like 10 minutes before reflect and review (aka devotional) so I decided to go really quietly to one of my girls doors and then just bang on it really loud! They screamed so loud I about died laughing! Apparently, they saw a spider in their room so they were already scared and I made it worse. It was really funny and I did it to them every night for the rest of the week and yet they would still get scared. I would try to scare other girls but it didn't work. Some it spooked them pretty good but not as much as the first girls.
  It was really cool to see the company come together by the end of the week. Its crazy how much you learn about a group in just one week. And also you see how much they grow in that one week. You see how EFY changed them. You see their testimonies grow and you see the light even bringer in their eyes.
  Before I left I struggled leaving my family. 5 weeks away is a long time and with everything going on its hard. I was really wondering if I did hear the spirit right. But I know that this is where I am needed. My girls last week needed me and needed them. They taught me so much. I am excited to see what is next! :)

You Never Know How Much He is Watching Over Us

  Home Sweet Home! It has never felt so amazing to be home. With everything that went down last month, all I wanted to was be home with my family. Well since I have been home so much has happened. But before I write about that I have to tell you the back story.
  Spring break I came home for half of the week and the other half I went to California with a group of friends. My brake rotors (I think) were warping or something. (I am not good with cars/car terms) So my brother took it into the auto shop at school to get it fixed. Come to find out my tie rod was cracking or something and so I was on a strict where I can drive and how much I could drive guidelines. Well to make the tie rod last longer they rotated my tires. So as time went on, I ended up having to come up one extra time because of my dad being in the hospital but I followed the rules, couldn't go faster than 75 miles per hour and couldn't take any St. George trips in my car. And if you have ever been in a car with me, going only 75 miles per hour can be really hard sometimes ;).
  I made it home safely on Thursday afternoon. Drove to the high school for alumni cheer practice, came home and all went well. So the next day, my dad and I went and picked up Riley from school and had to go to a couple of stores. Well on our way to our last store, Home Depot, and I hit my brakes and they do not sound normal at all. It was really strange and kind of scary. Once we got to Home Depot it got worse, almost sounding like my front driver tire was falling off. On our way back, it was so bad that my dad used the e-brake to brake. It was so nerve racking because I was the one driving and not being able to touch the brakes was so difficult. Putting my trust and faith into my dad was more difficult then I thought it would be.
  Since Austin wasn't coming home until late, dad didn't look at my car until morning. Saturday morning I found out that if I would have gone one more mile my tire would have come right off! Oh my, how in the world did I make it home? So what happened was that back in spring break when the boys rotated my tires, one did not put one of the bolts on tight enough. And according to my dad, the bolt fell off weeks ago. So I have been driving with one bolt gone all the way back. Coincidence that my tire didn't fall off yet? Yeah I think no.
  Heavenly Father was definitely watching over me and listening to my prayers. Every time I drove up or back I knew there was a possibility that my tie rod would brake off or something, so I kept praying that I could get home. I would have not been able to handle that on my own. I would not have thought about my e-brake. I would have probably been stuck in the middle of Utah with just cars passing by as my company. Yeah I would have not handled it so well. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father watching over me and protecting me and getting me home safe and soundly. :)

My Poor Gump of a Car

Its Been Too Long

   Sorry I haven't written in a long time. Life gets crazy sometimes and things are forgotten and I am sorry to say that this blog was one of them. But that's about to change :) A lot has happened since February when I last wrote but I want to focus on something else besides my life because first this thought has been in my mind recently and second my life is not that exciting besides more bad news and I am not in a sad hate the world type of mood so lets talk about something else shall we.
   So I have been thinking a lot about judging people and what people do with their lives. First, I am a psychology major and I was in one of my classes and a professor was saying about why is it our job or view if a person is diagnosed with a disorder. Maybe we are the abnormal ones and they are the normal ones. Has anyone really thought about that? Or that maybe there really is another voice in all of our heads and what if its just more quite than others? What makes us be the ones who get to judge if someone hears or sees the world differently? Just because they are not like the "most" of us, do we really have to write them off with a disorder and stamp them to be judged for the rest of their lives?
   Second, why do we judge people when they do not live the way we do? Yes everyone grows up with this idea of how life should be lived. In the LDS church, we are told that life is a big test. We get trials and we will be blessed because of them and that we shouldn't do anything that will harm our body and our spirit. We are also told to love everyone and to not judge but yet there are people in the church that will judge you if you slip just once or are not "perfect" or think they are getting judged by you because you follow the rules. Anyway you put it why do we still judge? In other religions, they are told that it does not matter what you make of this life because you are either saved or not and there is nothing you can do about it and yet they judge other people as much as the next. Why is that?
   Everyone hates being judged for how they live their lives yet they will turn around and judge the next person who is not in their "paradigm of life." Those people are called hypocrites everyone. And in one point of everyone's lives we have all fallen into that category. You can pretend you haven't but you know what I know I have been guilty of this and you know that you have too. That's the thing, if we hate being judged so badly why do we judge others? No one is perfect and no one is the same. I live my life differently than the person next to me so what makes me have the right to say he/she isn't doing the right thing or is not living life right? I have no right...No one on this Earth does.
  So challenge everyone, next time you start to think about judging a person, be littling them because they are not living life the way you "feel" they should live and look yourself in a mirror because I bet anything you are not perfect either and you should just smile at that person and be there for them. It doesn't matter what they are doing, they need a friend or a family member to just be there for them. They do not need a judge. We all have different paradigms of life and just because someone doesn't fit into yours doesn't mean to judge them but to just accept them for who they are and not force them into your paradigm. Lets try it. You might be surprised the type of people you meet or even better under the people you already know. :)

Help Him to Help Others

  Today I want to talk about one of my amazing younger brothers, Austin. Austin is just amazing. I mean seriously, he is one of the best brothers. He is seriously one of my best friends. I can go to him for anything and he will just sit there and listen to me. He will put gas in my car when its cold outside and even when it is warm. He will even go to the doctors with me when I do not want to go alone. Seriously who does that? Oh right Austin will! Him and Riley [other amazing best younger brother] will take out the trash, mow the lawn, and shovel the walks without question. They are outstanding! One time, I asked Austin to go give a present to one of my friends back home, and he did it without question. Also, Austin is very compassionate and loves to serve. He has done so much around the neighborhood and in our Church.
     He is also, this summer, going to the Philippines for two weeks for a humanitarian trip. How cool right? Not only is he leaving just a week or two after graduation, but he is going to go work, not to play. He is so excited to go. Here is him explaining what he is doing, " This summer, I will be going to the Philippines with a group of volunteers to participate in a humanitarian service program sponsored by Reaching Out Worldwide ("ROW'), a non-profit 501 (c)(3) organization focused on helping less fortunate people have better lives. I will be helping ROW to construct a water system; teaching how to keep the water supply clean by keeping litter and sewage away from it; constructing and outfitting birthing clinics;and equipping homes with clean-burning lanterns that will provide light to homes without electricity, making it possible for children to study without kerosene fumes." He is helping making this possible for people who he has never met and I think that is so cool. Anyways, he needs help raising the money so he can get there. You can help! Anything will help. Help him help others. Every little bit helps! He is an amazing guy who just wants to help others! All the money that is donated goes to funding his trip! You can make a donation to http://www.gofundme.com/antiquephilippines. You can help him help change the lives of others in the Philippines! I love what my brother is doing and where he is going in the world! Please anything helps!

Riley, Austin and I. They are just the best a girl can ever ask for!

Most Random Fun Weekend

     Man definitely had a fantastic weekend! Its a holiday weekend and usually people go home for the weekend. Instead one of my best friends, Danielle came and partied it up with my roommates and me. Definitely random and totally needed. We had so much fun and the weekend came and left way too fast.  So to start from the beginning.
     Friday, Danielle came! I have missed having her as a roommate! Its so weird when you live for someone for so long and then you don't, its so strange. Anyways, Ashley had a date that night, Kelsey had to go to Richfield to watch Colton open his mission call (He is going to California!), and Lexie was with Nate. So it was just Danielle and me friday night. There was a gymnastics meet and so we decided we would go to that and see where the night takes us. So since Danielle is not a student she was going to have to buy her own ticket. As we got to the ticket booth, some random guy was all, "Do you guys need a ticket?" and just hands us a ticket?! Crazy right? We both decided we definitely were meant to be there. So we sat right behind our cheerleader friends and it was a blast! Gymnastics is so legit to watch! Also,  SUU won! The girls were on fire on friday! After the meet, Danielle and I went to Panda Express and just talked! It was so great! Miss having her to talk to face to face. Anyways here comes the crazy part of our night. We were just chilling in my room and some of our guys friends were texting me and then next thing I knew, I heard my door slam open. Now in the normal world, when that happens you freak out, but in college you just question what is going on. I thought it was my roommate Lexie and her boy and she just had a hard time with the door but it wasn't her... We hear people running up the stairs and our guy friends burst into my room and grab Danielle and me. What in the world? The boys took us to taco bell then to burger king. It was crazy fun! Then we went to the boys house and played games till way too late haha.

    Saturday, we decided to go to St. George! Kelsey and I were wanting new swim suits and BYU rugby was playing down there so of course had to go watch! So we leave early to go shopping. We go to the mall, they have like no selection of swim suits, go to old navy and they had nothing, go to target and not a great selection, and went to ross and again not so great. So our shopping trip was a bust. We are in southern utah and there were hardly any swim suits...What in the world? The rugby game was great. Of course I loved it! Rugby is such a fun sport to watch and I had to explain to my friends how the game worked haha. Then we played more signs at our friends house once again till the wee hours of the night haha. So much fun!

   Sunday, was lazy sunday! Went to church and then just watched movies all day. Danielle and I fell asleep on the couch and Kelsey got a picture of it! It was funny! Ahh my weekend was a crazy random and much needed weekend! I love my friends! They know how to make my weekend fun! I hope all of your weekends were as great as mine. Well until next time!