3 trips in 4 months?! Yes we are nuts!

  Its been four months since daddy has passed. In those four months, my brothers, mom and I have traveled to San Fransisco, Oregon, and Southern California. Our car has put on a lot of miles that is for sure. They have been some crazy adventures as well. So since the trips are over for a while, why not tell you about our adventures?!

            San Fransisco

  So dad passed away the weekend before school. Talk about timing right? Everything happens for a reason that is for sure. Well the funeral was that next tuesday, and none of us were ready to enter back into the real world on wednesday...or thursday...or friday... And mom promised dad that she would take us somewhere to get away before having to start our lives without him. As we were contimplating on where to go, my mom's best friend mentioned San Fransisco. None of us kids had ever been and my mom was little the last time she went. So decided what the hey, lets go to San Fransisco. 

   Our first full day we went into San Fransisco and did the usual tourist sights. Pier 39, Ghirardelli Square, Cable Cars, China Town, and well we took a picture with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background. It was fun. It was fun, we mostly went into a lot of shops and did a lot of walking. Austin was obsessed with taking pictures of the seals that were at the pier. 

    [On the world famous Cable Cars]

    [We couldn't visit Alcatraz but I got to squish it]

    [Your typical picture with the Golden Gate]

    [Mom and me in Ghirardelli Square]

  The next day we decided to take a drive down south a bit to Santa Cruz. We are definitely a beach family. What can I say, we love the sand, water and warm sun. When we were looking at a magazine in our hotel room we saw that there was a surfing museum and the boardwalk. So why not?! It was so much fun. The surfing museum is really small...like super small... but oh man was it cool and really interesting! Than we made our way to the world famous Santa Cruz Boardwalk. It was so cool! We road some rides, did some shopping and of course took more pictures. It was really cool when you were on the ride and you can see the ocean. On our way back we decided to go up the coast and we found an old light house! It was definitely a stop we had to take! 

   [The Santa Cruz Surfing Museum]

      [Us in front of the lighthouse]

      [The only picture of the four of us the whole trip]

     [Austin being a showoff and climbed the statue]

        [Santa Cruz Boardwalk in the background]

  It was definitely a fun trip. It was new and different. It was something we needed. Our last taste of summer and fantasy right before entering a new era to our lives.

           

 Oregon

     Every year its a switch between one side to the other for Thanksgiving. I hear most families do it. Well it was the "others" turn this year. Well all of our other family is not in the state of Utah. Mom did not want to cook and it was the first main/big holiday without daddy. So it was either Southern California or Oregon. Because we couldn't make it to Oklahoma in the small amount of time we have for thanksgiving. Hopefully one year that could happen. We decided that we haven't been to Oregon in years, and my grandma's birthday was on Thanksgiving, and ever since I was born no matter what year, we spend those special Thanksgivings with her. Over the river and through the woods to Grandmothers house we go. Legitimately, we went over the Snake river, through mountains, to a sweet little town to Grandmas. It was definitely just a relaxing trip. Got to spend time catching up with my Grandma Kittie and Grandpa Glade. Went sight seeing and saw a beautiful waterfall that my brothers climbed down the edge of a cliff to get a better picture of the waterfall. Grandma taught mom and me about genealogy. That was really fun. [No I am serious I thought it was fun]. We had a nice weekend with my grandparents. It was a perfect break right before the craziness of finals week and the start of the holiday's.

[Over the River]

 [Through the woods]

 [To Grandmother house we go]

 [The Beautiful waterfall]

 [I found bones!! I sure hope its only animal bones]

Southern California

The last trip for us was of course to go home for Christmas. Well the day after Christmas. To help us get through this holiday was knowing we got to go to beautiful, warm Southern California. We got a break from the cold, cold, did I mention cold snow. It was definitely nice and needed. We visited as much as we could for our small time we had there. We got to go to the beach every day. Ahh everyday at the warm beach. It was weird seeing people in shorts and tank tops, in December. Haven't seen that in years.It was fun catching up with everyone we did get to visit with. They all offered us food. Man I guess they heard of our cold winter and wanted to fatten us up to stay nice and warm. Thanks for caring :) I think we will be set. I will have to admit, it was first weird seeing some people for the first time in years. Not only because it had been a long time, but because the last time we saw them, dad was in the picture as  well. But that weirdness went away super fast and it was blast catching up, hearing stories, and just laughing. And oh man the beach. The peacefulness it brings and just how amazing it is. I do miss having it so close. 

[Us at the beach]

 [Seriously the best feeling in the world...even if it is cold]

 [Huntington Beach... Take me back please]

All these trips have been fantastic. Yeah they have been all pretty short trips and a lot of the time in the car but they have all been worth it. As time goes, some things get easier and these trips are what have made it easier. Spending the first week, first thanksgiving, and the first Christmas break somewhere besides home has really helped. The places we have gone and the people we have visited are amazing. It was definitely crazy of us to do three trips in four months but who we do more trips if we could? Oh yeah in a heart beat. Maybe one day we can do more trips. Honestly, the time we have spent together has been the best. Yeah we fight who has to stay up with the driver, but we are all together, smiling and laughing. And to us, that is all that matters.

Life Keeps Going...

   Its hard to realize that you have to continue in this life when you have to realize that one person will no longer be in it physically. But what is life if we do not keep going? What is it if we just stop because something happened? It isn't life. Its nothing. We must keep moving forward. Sometimes life just plain out sucks but guess what...It continues. We can't stay still, we can't always stay the same, or wish for the past to come back. With doing that we wish away the present and how it can help your future. Life needs to keep going, no matter how hard it is.
  It has been a little rough this school year. I never thought missing the first week of school would have been such a big deal, but I was totally wrong! Do not ever do that! You miss the understanding of projects that will be due during the semester, and you miss what the teacher expects from the class. Than you also miss out on the fun things that happen. But guess what. You live and learn. And well I guess I kind of had a good excuse for missing the first week.
  I was terrified to have life continue. Realizing all the things I still have to do, not just in life, but in the next year. As I got to Cedar, that fear slowly died and a lot of that has to do with my roommates. These girls are seriously AMAZING! They definitely know how to keep me on my toes and busy. Honestly, I do not know how I could have gotten through these months without them!

[For Halloween we were characters from Peter Pan :)]
  Speaking of which, I wanted a change. I wanted something different. The world is changing around me, some change I wish that didn't happen and some that I love, but any way you put it, change happens. I guess I wanted to do my own. So it was my hair that got the change. I chopped off a lot. It is definitely something completely different. I like it. Honestly, I think my long hair just kept reminding me of a couple months ago. What my dad saw. Now its time to change. I needed something new. It was like chopping off the horrible things that happened and saying its time for a fresh new start.

Before :)

After :)
  Change is a good thing. It is another thing about life. Sometimes it is the death of a parent, a change of a school, a change of heart, new people in your life, people leaving your life, or even down to a new hair cut. All of these are a part of life. We cannot choose all the changes that happen but no matter what they are going to happen. So embrace it. Embrace the time we have with whatever it is. We live in a world that continually changes and guess what, we change too.

Kill it, Beat it, Prevent it

  Cancer. That word is everywhere. On TV, Billboards, talked about in class, someone talks about it, someone you know has it, or shoot I even heard about it at a parade this morning. The word is seriously everywhere. And what is mostly said, is about the death of cancer. They talk about preventing it but the surviving numbers are hardly mentioned, mostly because it always depends on the patient and what the cancer does. I have even noticed this. I have talked about my dad's battle and how it ended through death. But what I don't talk about as much is my surviving mom. Yep that is right, my mom is a five year survivor of breast cancer.
  I still remember the day she came to me saying she found something. I was about to leave my room with my bag packed because we were going on a mother daughter trip to California for my best friend's graduation, and she told me that she found something and its not good. Than after the trip I remember her coming home baling her eyes out and I knew it.. She had breast cancer. I was 15, my brothers were 12 and 9. One thing about my mom was that she looked at us and knew she had to do everything to make sure she stayed on this Earth as long as possible. She went through a surgery to get the tumor out, Chemo, and Radiation. The Chemo and Radiation was to prevent the cancer to come again. Every treatment made her percentage go down. She is such an amazing example to me. She realized she had to do everything in her power and in the power of treatment to do everything possible to stay.
   People say how sad it is that both of my parents have had cancer. Yeah it sucked and still sucks. But because of it I experienced both sides, which is something a lot of people cannot say. I experienced one who survived and one who passed. Neither were any special than the other. It was up to the cancer. My moms didn't spread at all, and my dads sadly did.
   One thing about cancer is that most of it can be prevented. You hear it all the time on the TV and guess what, they are not wrong. So question how can we prevent it? First off, be healthy. Smoking can be the result of lung cancer, alcohol can be the result of liver cancer ( I think you get the picture). Second, you feel something.. GO TO THE DOCTOR! I do not care if it is the tiniest thing. It could be something or it could be nothing but how are you suppose to know? Third, do your annual check-ups. Physicals sound pointless for "healthy" people but its for everyone and you never know what the doctor may see or find that you didn't notice. Doing these are not going to fully prevent you from getting cancer but it can maybe change your outcome. This month is breast cancer awareness month. So woman get your mammograms. Do it. Yeah I hear they are not the funniest things in the world but guess what neither is cancer. Lets have more survivors. Sometimes the only way to win the battle is leaving this Earth but why not do everything possible to be able to say I am a survivor! I beat cancer in the butt or even better I have always been cancer free. Don't feed cancer by your decisions...kill it, beat it, prevent it.
  I have seen what cancer can do to people, and if I could have one wish it would be that no one would have to see what I saw. Trust me its not pretty no matter if they survive or not. Know about your family history, get check ups, if you question something ask. Please do not just brush it off. You never know what will come of it.

You did so much... You went through so much... You are loved so much...

 You were there to pick me up when I fell, or broke my arm.You were there to take me to my first father daughter dance. You bought me my first corsage. You even taught me how to slow dance. You went to all my church events even though you were not a member. You taught me how to play baseball. You taught me how to love football. You took me to my first cheer competition. You are the one who found a way for me to keep doing jujitsu. You are the one who taught me how to properly punch. You would take your time to help me with my fundraisers. You taught me to do whatever I want and to not listen to what other people say. You hardly missed any of my performances or games. You showed me how important it was to work for what you want. You taught me to do things for myself. You taught me I could make basically anything out of wood. You taught me how to tile. You taught me how there is always a way.You supported me in all my dreams. You knew I could do it even when I didn't. You always watched after me and protected me. You watched out for me and thought what would be best for me.

  You spent 21 years watching over, providing, taking care of, and loving us. This past summer we got to be in your shoes and took care of you. As we did that I starting thinking on how much I took for granted. You were always so willing to do anything and these past couple of months you just couldn't. The cancer took over. Even though you have taken care of me for 21 years, it was nice to repay it even if it wasn't even close to a year. That last week it was hard for me to understand how you couldn't do anything. You couldn't take your pills by yourself, you couldn't sit up by yourself, and you couldn't talk. I couldn't wrap my mind behind it because you have been so strong and so independent my whole life. Not letting anyone do anything for you. You were always there helping others. It was hard to realize that the cancer did get the win over you physically. You hid it so much for so long. Once you couldn't hide it anymore, you finally showed us how bad it was. Thank you for finally letting us repay you for all the times you helped and took care of us. On August 24, 2013 I awoke to auntie april and mom saying that you were gone. The cancer finally took the win. Heavenly Father took you home to heaven. He took you out of the pain the cancer put you in. He embarrassed you and told you the pain was over.

  You spent 46 years on this earth. 21 of those years was being a husband and a father. Now you still get to be there for us. Not really the way we want but you will be there. You will see Riley graduate, Austin and Riley go on their missions, all three of us get married, watch your grandchildren grow, and so much more. You can still warn us of what's on the road ahead. You can still watch over mom and comfort her. Its not the way I wanted or thought would happen but maybe if I remember that you are still watching over me it will get easier... I just miss you. One day I will see you again. Until then I will remember what I learned from you and remember that you are always with me. I love you daddy. Enjoy heaven and playing catch with Lucky.

Families are Forever <3

Either way its hard...

  Last week I had to take my dad in for a doctors appointment. As I sat there in the waiting room, a nurse finally comes to me and asks me if I want to go wait with my dad. I say yes. So I go into the room where my dad is and he asks me, "have you accepted it yet?" (for first time readers my dad is dying from cancer and does not have a lot of time left.) I was all, "No" lets be honest no one really fully accepts anything until the end. Its the last stage of the grieving process. Than he goes and asks me, "What is easier having someone just die out of no where or knowing that they are going to die." I looked at him and said, "I don't really know how about you haunt me later in life and I will tell you." Trying to make a joke out of this serious situation and more stuff was said that I actually saw my dad cry for the first time and he saw me cry for the first time over this situation. But his question really got me questioning.
  About two days later, my like 3rd cousins husband of 5 months past away in a boating accident at Lake Powell. As I thought about how what she has to go through and how one second her husband was there and than the next he was gone, I realized I knew what I would rather have. I would rather know it was coming. Does it still suck, yeah you bet it still sucks watching my once strong dad having to know be helped out of bed and helped in the bathroom. But I get to cherish each moment and get to say a little bit of a good-bye.
  Two days ago, it was around four o'clock and I was sitting on the couch next to my dad and it was time for his meds. He has now gotten to the point that he needs help knowing what pills to take when and such. He wakes up and says, "You need to call your mother now to tell her to get her [butt] home because its time." So I call my mom, than ask if he still wants his meds. He than tells me to lean close and kisses me on the cheek and says, "I love you." I than got really scared because he was serious about his time. I get a chair to sit next to him and to hold his hand. I than call the boys in to do the same. Honestly, it was the perfect moment especially when mom got home. And I kept thinking, maybe the movies do not lie about everything because this looks like a scene out of sappy sad romantic type movie. Well my dad not being anything like that he is still fighting to be on this earth for just a little while longer. His time is really close and has gone really down hill but I had and can still have my moments of peace with him. He can call his family and friends and say his good-byes which are hard to hear but he gets to say them.
  Either way it sucks, no matter what. But I have also thought of something else. As long as we cherish all the moments we have with everyone than it does not matter. No regrets will happen, no wishing I could have done this or that. Everyone leaves this Earth when and how Heavenly Father sees fit and what is in his plan.
  Here is a challenge that I have made on my facebook page so now I challenge it to you. Cherish your family. Mend the bonds that have been broken. Go call your family now. Just say I love you to them. Take that time to be with them and not with friends. Enjoy what time you have with them because you may get the chance like me to say your good-byes or they can walk out the door and be gone. Either way you can still have those memories and know that that person knows you love them.
  I know that if I have this last day with my dad or maybe a week that he loves me and I love him and that is all that is needed. :)

Daddy daughter love is like nothing that can be described.

My EFY adventure in a nutshell!

Man so much happened during my 5 week adventure of EFY so bullet points are the way to go:

• Made new friends within minutes and love them!
• We made up more than half of any ward we joined and it was always funny to see the members faces as we all walked in.
• Found out I went to Snow with a couple of my co-workers and I didn't even know it.
• Almighty Servers (1st week): 
• Scared my girls and it was hilarious
• I had two boys how kept saying that I didn't like them than at the end they came up to me and was all I guess you do like us. It was funny I guess if you were there.
• Won banner.
  

• Weekend:
• Ran back to grab a couch before anyone got there.
• Target adventure with Taylor, Andres, and Nicole! Walking in the rain, Five Guys, and the start of a great friendship!
• Buffalo Wild Wings and Man of Steel. Definitely an adventure of getting there! 
  
• Imparting Angels (2nd week):
• Teddy compliments were my favorite!
• 6 out of my 12 girls had to see the health counselor...yeah must be a record!
• Fun mid week trip to Target! We are never ever getting back together, frozen yogurt, and inside jokes!
  
• Travel weekend:
• No one likes to travel all day but make the most of it! 
• Nicole and I laughed the entire bus ride!
• 
  
• But we got to see the OCEAN!! 
  
  Nicole and I on the bus!
  
  Andres and I at the beach!
• F.W.S. (3rd week):
• First set of older kids!
• They got me ice cream or anything when I asked!
• Two boys made my co and I a picnic basket! haha talk about creative!
  
  
  
  
  The Picnic Basket!
• Weekend:
• Beach time!! :)
• Apparently Panda Express is not open on the weekends in the student center. :/
• No naps because Andres, Ross, Caitlin and I like to talk in the lobby!
• Andres and I almost got sprayed by a skunk and saw the one and only skunkoon!
  
  The girls at the beach!
• I am Strong (4th week):
• Won banner and cheer!
• My boys made a song that made my day!
• My kids made up a game called dinglehop! Best game!
  
• Weekend:
• Clouds does not stop us from going to the beach! We got to hold starfish and other cool sea creatures!
• Tried to eat at Panda again...Still closed!
• Beach talks are the best with Andres, Erica, Ross, Caitlin, and Jessica!
  
  Girl talk on the beach!
• Believe and Receive (5th week):
• First trio all summer!
• Won banner and the banner got tossed up to the front! Hilarious!
• I was sick at the beginning of the week and my kids were so concerned and kept asking how I was! Loved it!
  

Best 5 weeks of my summer by far! Honestly this is not even the half of the amazing things that happened! The kids were amazing and they are such amazing examples and helped me in more things than they could ever know! My friends I have made are seriously the best! I do not know how I could have done any of this without every single one of them! The Lord knew exactly who I needed and what I needed in my life! EFY is seriously the best job and I am so blessed to say its my job!

Dr. Pepper!

At the library!

Frozen Yogurt!

Flagstaff 1 [Almighty Servers]

  My first week back at EFY was of course LEGIT! Loved my kids so much! They were crazy but so much fun. It is definitely different here in Arizona. Something about it. I don't know but its cool. So walk in to meet your counselor and already love the girls! I could see how nervous they were but man within minutes they were talking to each other and opening up.
  Tuesday was probably the best. So first off, we had classes. And I went around with my different kids to the different classes. Well then after lunch I started talking to a group of my girls and asked if I could join them to class. They said yeah totally. So we went to a class together and found more of my kids which was great! Also, loved the teachers and classes. So then I lost the group when leaving the class to go to another class. So I decided I decided I would just find a class and hope some of my kids were there. Well I walked out of the building and up the stairs and one of my girls comes up to me and is all, "Amanda we waited for you." Oh man totally made my day. Than I was on free time duty, which is not always the best because sometimes you cannot be with your kids. But some of my kids saw me and came and chatted with me until dinner. Again, made my day.
   So Wednesday night was crazy. Games night, pizza night, and all is just nuts. But after was the best. I was knocking on all my girls doors to tell them they had like 10 minutes before reflect and review (aka devotional) so I decided to go really quietly to one of my girls doors and then just bang on it really loud! They screamed so loud I about died laughing! Apparently, they saw a spider in their room so they were already scared and I made it worse. It was really funny and I did it to them every night for the rest of the week and yet they would still get scared. I would try to scare other girls but it didn't work. Some it spooked them pretty good but not as much as the first girls.
  It was really cool to see the company come together by the end of the week. Its crazy how much you learn about a group in just one week. And also you see how much they grow in that one week. You see how EFY changed them. You see their testimonies grow and you see the light even bringer in their eyes.
  Before I left I struggled leaving my family. 5 weeks away is a long time and with everything going on its hard. I was really wondering if I did hear the spirit right. But I know that this is where I am needed. My girls last week needed me and needed them. They taught me so much. I am excited to see what is next! :)

You Never Know How Much He is Watching Over Us

  Home Sweet Home! It has never felt so amazing to be home. With everything that went down last month, all I wanted to was be home with my family. Well since I have been home so much has happened. But before I write about that I have to tell you the back story.
  Spring break I came home for half of the week and the other half I went to California with a group of friends. My brake rotors (I think) were warping or something. (I am not good with cars/car terms) So my brother took it into the auto shop at school to get it fixed. Come to find out my tie rod was cracking or something and so I was on a strict where I can drive and how much I could drive guidelines. Well to make the tie rod last longer they rotated my tires. So as time went on, I ended up having to come up one extra time because of my dad being in the hospital but I followed the rules, couldn't go faster than 75 miles per hour and couldn't take any St. George trips in my car. And if you have ever been in a car with me, going only 75 miles per hour can be really hard sometimes ;).
  I made it home safely on Thursday afternoon. Drove to the high school for alumni cheer practice, came home and all went well. So the next day, my dad and I went and picked up Riley from school and had to go to a couple of stores. Well on our way to our last store, Home Depot, and I hit my brakes and they do not sound normal at all. It was really strange and kind of scary. Once we got to Home Depot it got worse, almost sounding like my front driver tire was falling off. On our way back, it was so bad that my dad used the e-brake to brake. It was so nerve racking because I was the one driving and not being able to touch the brakes was so difficult. Putting my trust and faith into my dad was more difficult then I thought it would be.
  Since Austin wasn't coming home until late, dad didn't look at my car until morning. Saturday morning I found out that if I would have gone one more mile my tire would have come right off! Oh my, how in the world did I make it home? So what happened was that back in spring break when the boys rotated my tires, one did not put one of the bolts on tight enough. And according to my dad, the bolt fell off weeks ago. So I have been driving with one bolt gone all the way back. Coincidence that my tire didn't fall off yet? Yeah I think no.
  Heavenly Father was definitely watching over me and listening to my prayers. Every time I drove up or back I knew there was a possibility that my tie rod would brake off or something, so I kept praying that I could get home. I would have not been able to handle that on my own. I would not have thought about my e-brake. I would have probably been stuck in the middle of Utah with just cars passing by as my company. Yeah I would have not handled it so well. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father watching over me and protecting me and getting me home safe and soundly. :)

My Poor Gump of a Car

Its Been Too Long

   Sorry I haven't written in a long time. Life gets crazy sometimes and things are forgotten and I am sorry to say that this blog was one of them. But that's about to change :) A lot has happened since February when I last wrote but I want to focus on something else besides my life because first this thought has been in my mind recently and second my life is not that exciting besides more bad news and I am not in a sad hate the world type of mood so lets talk about something else shall we.
   So I have been thinking a lot about judging people and what people do with their lives. First, I am a psychology major and I was in one of my classes and a professor was saying about why is it our job or view if a person is diagnosed with a disorder. Maybe we are the abnormal ones and they are the normal ones. Has anyone really thought about that? Or that maybe there really is another voice in all of our heads and what if its just more quite than others? What makes us be the ones who get to judge if someone hears or sees the world differently? Just because they are not like the "most" of us, do we really have to write them off with a disorder and stamp them to be judged for the rest of their lives?
   Second, why do we judge people when they do not live the way we do? Yes everyone grows up with this idea of how life should be lived. In the LDS church, we are told that life is a big test. We get trials and we will be blessed because of them and that we shouldn't do anything that will harm our body and our spirit. We are also told to love everyone and to not judge but yet there are people in the church that will judge you if you slip just once or are not "perfect" or think they are getting judged by you because you follow the rules. Anyway you put it why do we still judge? In other religions, they are told that it does not matter what you make of this life because you are either saved or not and there is nothing you can do about it and yet they judge other people as much as the next. Why is that?
   Everyone hates being judged for how they live their lives yet they will turn around and judge the next person who is not in their "paradigm of life." Those people are called hypocrites everyone. And in one point of everyone's lives we have all fallen into that category. You can pretend you haven't but you know what I know I have been guilty of this and you know that you have too. That's the thing, if we hate being judged so badly why do we judge others? No one is perfect and no one is the same. I live my life differently than the person next to me so what makes me have the right to say he/she isn't doing the right thing or is not living life right? I have no right...No one on this Earth does.
  So challenge everyone, next time you start to think about judging a person, be littling them because they are not living life the way you "feel" they should live and look yourself in a mirror because I bet anything you are not perfect either and you should just smile at that person and be there for them. It doesn't matter what they are doing, they need a friend or a family member to just be there for them. They do not need a judge. We all have different paradigms of life and just because someone doesn't fit into yours doesn't mean to judge them but to just accept them for who they are and not force them into your paradigm. Lets try it. You might be surprised the type of people you meet or even better under the people you already know. :)

Help Him to Help Others

  Today I want to talk about one of my amazing younger brothers, Austin. Austin is just amazing. I mean seriously, he is one of the best brothers. He is seriously one of my best friends. I can go to him for anything and he will just sit there and listen to me. He will put gas in my car when its cold outside and even when it is warm. He will even go to the doctors with me when I do not want to go alone. Seriously who does that? Oh right Austin will! Him and Riley [other amazing best younger brother] will take out the trash, mow the lawn, and shovel the walks without question. They are outstanding! One time, I asked Austin to go give a present to one of my friends back home, and he did it without question. Also, Austin is very compassionate and loves to serve. He has done so much around the neighborhood and in our Church.
     He is also, this summer, going to the Philippines for two weeks for a humanitarian trip. How cool right? Not only is he leaving just a week or two after graduation, but he is going to go work, not to play. He is so excited to go. Here is him explaining what he is doing, " This summer, I will be going to the Philippines with a group of volunteers to participate in a humanitarian service program sponsored by Reaching Out Worldwide ("ROW'), a non-profit 501 (c)(3) organization focused on helping less fortunate people have better lives. I will be helping ROW to construct a water system; teaching how to keep the water supply clean by keeping litter and sewage away from it; constructing and outfitting birthing clinics;and equipping homes with clean-burning lanterns that will provide light to homes without electricity, making it possible for children to study without kerosene fumes." He is helping making this possible for people who he has never met and I think that is so cool. Anyways, he needs help raising the money so he can get there. You can help! Anything will help. Help him help others. Every little bit helps! He is an amazing guy who just wants to help others! All the money that is donated goes to funding his trip! You can make a donation to http://www.gofundme.com/antiquephilippines. You can help him help change the lives of others in the Philippines! I love what my brother is doing and where he is going in the world! Please anything helps!

Riley, Austin and I. They are just the best a girl can ever ask for!

Most Random Fun Weekend

     Man definitely had a fantastic weekend! Its a holiday weekend and usually people go home for the weekend. Instead one of my best friends, Danielle came and partied it up with my roommates and me. Definitely random and totally needed. We had so much fun and the weekend came and left way too fast.  So to start from the beginning.
     Friday, Danielle came! I have missed having her as a roommate! Its so weird when you live for someone for so long and then you don't, its so strange. Anyways, Ashley had a date that night, Kelsey had to go to Richfield to watch Colton open his mission call (He is going to California!), and Lexie was with Nate. So it was just Danielle and me friday night. There was a gymnastics meet and so we decided we would go to that and see where the night takes us. So since Danielle is not a student she was going to have to buy her own ticket. As we got to the ticket booth, some random guy was all, "Do you guys need a ticket?" and just hands us a ticket?! Crazy right? We both decided we definitely were meant to be there. So we sat right behind our cheerleader friends and it was a blast! Gymnastics is so legit to watch! Also,  SUU won! The girls were on fire on friday! After the meet, Danielle and I went to Panda Express and just talked! It was so great! Miss having her to talk to face to face. Anyways here comes the crazy part of our night. We were just chilling in my room and some of our guys friends were texting me and then next thing I knew, I heard my door slam open. Now in the normal world, when that happens you freak out, but in college you just question what is going on. I thought it was my roommate Lexie and her boy and she just had a hard time with the door but it wasn't her... We hear people running up the stairs and our guy friends burst into my room and grab Danielle and me. What in the world? The boys took us to taco bell then to burger king. It was crazy fun! Then we went to the boys house and played games till way too late haha.

    Saturday, we decided to go to St. George! Kelsey and I were wanting new swim suits and BYU rugby was playing down there so of course had to go watch! So we leave early to go shopping. We go to the mall, they have like no selection of swim suits, go to old navy and they had nothing, go to target and not a great selection, and went to ross and again not so great. So our shopping trip was a bust. We are in southern utah and there were hardly any swim suits...What in the world? The rugby game was great. Of course I loved it! Rugby is such a fun sport to watch and I had to explain to my friends how the game worked haha. Then we played more signs at our friends house once again till the wee hours of the night haha. So much fun!

   Sunday, was lazy sunday! Went to church and then just watched movies all day. Danielle and I fell asleep on the couch and Kelsey got a picture of it! It was funny! Ahh my weekend was a crazy random and much needed weekend! I love my friends! They know how to make my weekend fun! I hope all of your weekends were as great as mine. Well until next time!

The Day My Life Turned Upside Down

    Oh the joys of Valentines day. The day when you either spend it alone or with someone you love. The thing is, why do we need one day a year for this? Don't you love someone and want to show that someone how much you care about them everyday? Personally, I have no experienced this but I would rather have a random day where someone gets me flowers or gives me candy just because, not because its a "holiday." But again that is my own opinion. As for me I do not like Valentines day for other reasons. Last year on Valentines day, my dad went into surgery to get his tumor removed and came out with a limited amount of time left on this Earth. Lets just say it was not a good day and today all those memories came flooding back all day.

[The good ole days, when I could sit on his lap]
     If you have watched Switched at Birth, there is this saying in the TV show saying, "Because that's the thing, the day before your life changes forever, its just like any other day." And it wasn't even the day before, it was the hours before. I went home to be there for my dads surgery and I just thought it would give me relief knowing that the tumor was out of him, the same feeling I got when my mom went into surgery to get her tumor out 4 years earlier. We woke up super early to get dad to LDS hospital and man I remember how uncomfortable the chairs were and how hungry I was. A lot of my aunts and my grandparents came and waiting with my mom and myself [brothers had to go to school]. Catching up, laughing, doing homework, and just making time pass. Then the doctor called mom in...Great... When mom was gone, it seemed like the world stopped and every second was a minute, a minute was an hour, etc. Mom came and I knew it was bad...She had be crying. She told everyone there and me that the cancer had spread and that my dad only had 4-6 years. I cried A LOT. I even saw my Grandpa Swain cry and I have never seen him cry or any man cry like my grandpa did that day. The worse part was that since dad would probably not remember much of our visit that day, we couldn't tell him, the doctor was waiting until the next day to break it to my dad. That was probably the hardest part, I couldn't let my feelings out. So I cried a lot in my moms, grandmas, and aunts arms before I could go see my dad. Then after spending all day in the hospital, we went to red robin [which kindof ended up being some sort of tradition with my family and my aunt jens] and again because my brothers or cousins didn't know I couldn't let my feelings out. Then the hardest thing I have probably ever done, was sit my brothers down with my mom and give them the news. It was hard because I am their older sister and I couldn't protect them from this and there was no way to help them or make it better.

[We are kindof goofballs :)]
   So lets just say it was a sucky day last year. Well as this Valentines day approached, I anticipated it to suck because then it might not really suck. As I got to my first class, I couldn't focus. All I could think of was what went down last year, and what my dad is going to miss because last month we found out that the cancer spread more and he only has a couple months maybe a year. Then I get into my second class and look at my friend and I tell her I do not want to be there. So after our quiz we just left, I know you shouldn't just leave class but today I did not care. I already teared up in my first class and I knew I would have a break down in my second class. Lone behold I was right [luckily I was home]. My aunt put a status about it and I just lost it. I am the type of person that will hide my pain and sorrow so I made sure it didn't look like I was home. But Kelsey knows me too well and saw my car and came up to my room. I tried to hide the fact that I had been crying for about 20 minutes but thats the thing about crying...You can't really hide it. So she is all "Amanda I know you have been crying." Dang it got caught. So she got me out of my room and made me hot chocolate and we ate frosting. Definitely made my morning just a bit better. Then I posted this picture on facebook of my dad and I and how I love him..blah blah blah.. [you can look at the picture.] And then everyone is putting all these things like I am sorry and your family was in my prayers and it just made me cry more. Not really sad crying but kind of like a happyish cry knowing that I have a lot of caring people in my life. Then Ashley and I had this whole early evening plan [so that she could get surprised later by Jake..bwahaha we sneaky] of getting pizza and perks of being a wallflower. It was great to not think about what day it was and just watch a movie and eat amazing pizza. P.S. perks of being a wallflower is really good and interesting.

[My boys <3 They are amazing]
   Then I found out my brothers surprised my mom with flowers at work! How sweet right? My dads idea. I love those boys so much! One thing I realized today as I have been comforted by my roommates, friends and family is that people are in our lives for a certain reason. Some are there for your whole life and some are only there for a bit but they are all in our lives to help us in some way. I don't know how in the world I would have gotten through the day without them. It was a hard day because not only all of this but I am also 250 miles away from my family. But with technology, I can skype, call, text, facebook etc as much as I desire. Sometimes life just sucks but there is quote I found was "Not everyday is going to be good but there is something good in every day." And that is so true. Yeah today sucked and I wanted it over before it started, yeah I cried way too much for a day, redid my makeup 3 times, but I had some laughs and smiles along the way. I had to laugh and save Ash and Jake from being stranded because Jake locked his keys in his car, I laughed at the movie and I smiled knowing that yeah my life got turned upside down a year ago today and news came that no one should ever have to hear, but its been a year and right now my dad is still here and I can still make some memories with him and my family that will last my lifetime. Some times its hard not to think that he will more in likely not be at my wedding, he wont see my kids grow up, he wont see how my brothers grow up, my future husband might not get to ask him for his permission to marry me, and so much more but we can still have some good laughs, lunch dates, family pictures, watching movies together and more. Its not the end yet, and that is something that has gotten me through this day and this year and a half. I love my daddy so much. <3

 I love my daddy!

My family at my graduation from Snow. They are the reason I am in school.